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Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
7 billion people on this planet and I can`t find one who doesn`t annoy the f*ck out of me.
I`m angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.