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Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.