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If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
I think my "check engine" light has finally burned out. So that`s good.
Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it’s only Tuesday.
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent ... I would have to say it’s the kids.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance