Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Thought for the day: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that is where sh!tty ideas come from!
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
Such a satisfying feeling when “the one that got away” turns into “dodged that bullet”
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?