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How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
I hate the snow so much, I want to build a snowman just so I can punch it in its face.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
One square left on the toilet roll and no extras in the cupboard. Well played, honey. Well played.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.