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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
Why do medications always have side effects like `anal leakage` & `suicidal thoughts`? Why not `invisibility` or `spontaneous orgasms`?
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...