Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
Why do some people call it a "tuna-fish" sandwich? It`s not like anyone calls it a "chicken-bird" sandwich.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
I hate when I’m alone in the dark and my brain says, “Hey, you know what we haven’t thought about in a while? Ghosts..”
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.