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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
Laxatives............for people who don`t give a crap.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life
Is it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
I`d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don`t wanna see you everyday.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I`m eating.