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Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Doctor: How`s your headache? Patient: She`s out of town.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.