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I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump Day" into "Smack-A-Dumb-Bitch-In-The-Face" Day.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.