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I wish my mind had a delete button.
Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.