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Oh, I have an idea!!..oh wait, no I don`t
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."