Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
I can`t wait to get one of those self-driving cars to watch my wife argue with it.
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
I miss the life I planned in my head.
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since `pro` is the opposite of `con` we should call it prosti..... oh wait.