Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"