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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
DATING TIP: never reveal how many cats you have.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving, but growls when you blow in his face, you may need a breath mint.
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.