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My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet... Oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
Some days, I practice positive thinking. Other days, I`m not positive I am thinking.
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
Just watched (insert title of horror movie) and it wasn`t scary at all. The crap in my pants is a pure coincidence.
Good for you, people that do things.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!