Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
I always say, "morning." Instead of, "good morning." If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
Life Insurance: Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money?
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward