Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
I`m really good at acting like I`m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
Scared some Jehovah`s Witnesses today by going to the door completely naked. I`m not sure what scared them more, me being totally naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.
I make a great second impression.
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.