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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
Wanna come over for pizza and sex? I`m just kidding ... there`s no pizza.
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
I’m not a comedian. I don’t tell jokes. I just tell the truth in a way it sounds funny.
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Is Nudeism a religion?
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
Tieam... problem solved
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.