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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
The human soul weights 1.2 lbs. I know this because I weighed myself before and after I got to work.
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
My anger management class pisses me off
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.