Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout "player 3 has entered the game!"
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.