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Black Friday is the second closest thing to a zombie apocalypse except they want sales instead of brains.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
Iām going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep.
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!