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Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?