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If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
I`m tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. Does anyone have any new mistakes I can borrow?