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I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
My mom says I`m special.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I`m so glad I don`t drink anymore.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.