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I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.