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Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.