Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don`t have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.