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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control
Running behind is my cardio.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."