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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they`re transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?