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Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
there is no strong beer, only weak men
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
Did you hear about the homeless guy that tried selling me meth?.... Yeah it was Bumcrack.