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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
I think eating is my kind of sport.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.