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Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
You are here: X
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
I just "borrowed" my neighbors nissan frontier, they make that trick look easier on the commercial
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.