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The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
If people say you`re acting "really weird," take it as a compliment that you usually only act semi-weird and now you`re totally nailin` it.
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it`s voice activated. I`m at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets