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People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
When I tell stories about people I don’t like, I give them ridiculous voices.
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.