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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
It`s Friday the 13th. Good thing I`m not superstitious, it`s unlucky to be superstitious...
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.