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According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page