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Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
I’m not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)