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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Apparently, walking up behind a hot guy in the produce aisle with celery in my hand and whispering "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.