Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
The push-up bra: the strangely acceptable female equivalent of a rolled up sock stuffed in men`s underwear.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.