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I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.