Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
Keys to a good friendship. Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.
My car remote died. I had to insert my key into the lock like some kind of goddamn animal.
Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.
It’s not pretty being easy.