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I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
I like to punish people who ask me how I`m doing by giving them a detailed description of how I am doing.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
I may be asking too much of this coffee.