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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I’ve realized I get ridiculously nervous driving behind semi’s or trucks carrying sh!t that could fall out and impale me all because of final destination 2.
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
I try not to limit my madness to March.