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I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles ... Do your damn job.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don`t slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinky head that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".