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People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
Testing shows that people in the USA know less about geography than England, Japan and like 100 other countries I`ve never heard of.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.