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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.