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Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.