Daily Silly Status

Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)

Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them

Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"

How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.

I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.

Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.

Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is

never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes

I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.

The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.

I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese

I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.

They should`ve added "Might lose a lot of sleep" in Facebook`s terms & conditions before signing up.