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Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what I’m talking about.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
I`ve started to make a fresh start in 2015, so if I owe you money, too bad.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.